The Harmon Killebrew Autograph School Is Desperately Needed


If Harmon Killebrew was here today, he’d be kicking ass. Multiple people’s asses.

It’s one of those novelty stories that have been run into the ground and into the core of the Earth, but the story of Harmon Killebrew’s autograph always sticks with me. You can read Harmon Killebrew’s autograph as if it was in huge lettering the size of a billboard. The only way you couldn’t read it was if you were blind and even then I’m not so sure that Harmon wouldn’t try to get it in brail for you.

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Some current Twins need to get their act together.

Around Valentine’s Day, the Minnesota Twins official Twitter account sent out a tweet stating that if you retweeted, you’d be eligible to receive a Valentine signed by a Twin. Of course, I bit. Who wouldn’t put their hat in the ring for a free autograph from a member of their favorite baseball team?

It took me five minutes and a magnify glass to decipher who it was.

Have a guess yet?

I’m pretty sure that’s Kurt Suzuki.

I could be wrong, but I think I see a K and an S and an 8, so I’m pretty certain, but it’s surely not a Harmon quality autograph.

Kurt is not alone.

Jordan Schafer, ladies and gentleman.

I understand sloppy signatures. I have one. It is a doctor-quality signature from a guy that has nothing close to the qualifications of a doctor, but nobody wants my autograph. If they ever do, I’ll clean it up.

As a kid I loved autographs, I still do to an extent, but I loved looking at them. They just look cool. Most of them I have on baseball cards, so it’s easy to tell who they are, but there’s a select few I have on a Twins felt logo and every time I look at the piece it takes me a couple minutes to figure out who they are.

Don’t do it for me, baseball players. Do it for the kids.

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