Minnesota Twins Cornucopia of the Year Bestowed


Patrick Reusse is one of my personal heroes. If I had a nickel for every time that I muttered or typed that sentence I’d be a rich, rich man. Pat and I seem to share a lot of the same thoughts to the point where we might’ve been separated at birth, ignoring the fact that it would only be possible for him and my Grandpa to actually be separated at birth.

If you’re a Minnesota sports fan, and I hope that you are, you have heard about Reusse’s Turkey of the Year column. Every year on Thanksgiving, he hands out an award for the biggest ‘turkey’ in the Minnesota sporting realm.

It’s a big deal. He has a committee.

I don’t have a committee, but I have something that I think is a companion piece to the Turkey of the Year. It’s the Cornucopia of the Year.

The cornucopia, or horn of plenty, is a symbol of abundance and nourishment, commonly a large horn-shaped container overflowing with produce, flowers, nuts, other edibles, or wealth in some form… So it’s a positive award. Something a little tough for me due to the whole Reusse and I think a lot alike thing.

Without further ado let’s head to the Second Annual, yes I did this last year too, Cornucopia of the Year table.

Brian Dozier – Until Dozier is no longer on the Twins or is so brutally bad that he becomes a lame joke on Twitter, Dozier will more than likely always be at the Cornucopia table. Why? The flow. Not his smoothness on the field, but his hair. Even with it cut. Plus, Dozier led the Twins in WAR, a rare thing Reusse and I disagree on.

Kurt Suzuki – Suzuki was brought into the Twins to be a mentor for Josmil Pinto… then we realized that Josmil Pinto cannot actually catch. Suzuki turned that into an All-Star season and we won’t mention the second-half drop off.

Kendrys Morales – Morales did nothing on the field, err batter’s box, for the Minnesota Twins, but he made me feel good. Morales and I share the same body type. We’re both fat. If Morales can be a professional athlete in that body, I can also be a professional… something.

Jason Kubel and Jason Bartlett – Yes, they get to share a chair. Like Morales above, neither did worth a damn on the field, but their horribleness made some bloggers look really good. I thank both of you. Matt Guerrier also would have been mentioned, but I don’t dare put a third guy in a single chair.

Josh Willingham – He’s retired now. He needs a meal.

Speaking of worrying about chairs, we’re running out… Let’s head to the front of the table.

2nd Runner Up – Glen Perkins – Last year’s winner of the Cornucopia of the Year award returns to the table as a very honored guest, but doesn’t quite snag the trophy for a second year in a row. Perk is a great follow on Twitter, a great radio guest and a great relief pitcher. Another All-Star appearance, too. But this is to be expected and since I am not the typical go with the flow guy, he doesn’t take the cake.

1st Runner Up – Phil Hughes – What does a guy have to do, right?! Hughes had a fantastic season in his first with Minnesota. Should’ve been an All-Star and if the Twins were half-way decent, he would have been a contender for the Cy Young Award, but if you did a little research, it was obvious Hughes should thrive in Minnesota. He did and he’s at the table, but again he did as he was expected to.

To the head of the table and the second ever Cornucopia:

Danny Santana – Santana was barely on the radar, if at all, going into the season and was soon a breath of fresh air for Twins fans in 2014. Santana should’ve been playing shortstop, that’s why Ron Gardenhire is a mile away from this table, but he did thrive in centerfield while giving Twins a little bit of hope for the future of the franchise.

Santana played in 101 games at the major league and received a vote for Rookie of the Year. Like Hughes, he would not have won his award, but would have received more votes if the Twins were a team that could actually win a ballgame.

The Cornucopia is official. Now go talk to your family. Read Patrick’s Turkey of the Year, it’s a good one, by the way. Have a very happy Thanksgiving.

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