A Dr. Seuss Look At The Minnesota Twins


Credit: Christopher Hanewinckel-USA TODAY Sports

What if Dr. Seuss was a Twins fans and came back from the dead? What if I wanted to write something really weird and just pawn it off on a famous person, so that you would accept it more openly? Well, the second one is the accurate one, so keep that in mind when reading the following piece.

What if I told you on Opening Day, that the Twins would be over .500 near the end of May.

You’d have called me crazy, you would have called me a nut, you would have said I had my head up in my butt.

Here we are 45 games in and we’ve seen less losses and much more win.

Could we see this through the year, the preview of a clubhouse showered in beer?

A half-game out of a wild card spot, instead of having our hands tied in a knot.

It’s an interesting place, we’re no longer accustomed to this pace.

Is this for real or is this a charade? Will we be throwing a ticker tape parade?

Colabello was hot and now he is not.

Plouffe is hitting doubles like a kid blowing bubbles.

Escobar is ballin’, all the ladies are callin’.

Parmelee is up and can barely fit in his cup.

Oswaldo got hurt, we had a week off from Bert.

Black Jack is back and that’s a matter of fact.

What we don’t know if this is real or really how to feel.

Heartbreak we don’t want to feel, the last seasons have almost made us keel.

The season is long, wrong and drawn, like a Justin Timberlake song.

All I know is this season will be fun and maybe we’ll see more sun, sun, sun.

Keep cheering on the Twins, because you never know, we might be on the good side of the yo-yo.

If you take one thing from this song, story, poem, lyrical prong is that baseball is weird, but when watching baseball you can never, ever be wrong.