Minnesota Twins Haiku


These Twins are psyched about poetry. Mandatory Credit: Jesse Johnson-US PRESSWIRE

The Winter Meetings have ended.  It’s time to take a deep breath as we wait for the off-season festivities to continue.  The Twins still have work to do, but let’s leave that to those who get paid to build the team.  For the fans, it’s time to relax.  Poetry is relaxing.  I decided it might be fun to try some Twins Haiku.  I used players that I feel will contribute to the 2013 Twins in some way.  I threw in some bonus Haiku that I just could not resist.  If you hate this, let me know so I never do it again.  If you love it, please print it out and put in on your wall.  Thanks.

Ron Gardenhire
Beloved by many fans
Players seem to like him as well
No playoff success

Joe Mauer
Aw shucks I’m just Joe
Most Popular of Twins
Double to the Gap
Ben Revere – Philadelphia Phillies
Fast as a cheetah
Just as deadly with the bat
Somersault Monster
Drew Butera
The Twins like his glove
No sane person likes his bat
Can we move along?
Justin Morneau
Once powerful force
Popular with the people
Not quite who he was
Chris Parmelee
One great September
What is he capable of?
We all will know soon
Tyler Robertson
Lefty with some stuff
He had a decent debut
Boy is he a hoss
Josh Willingham
Strong like lumberjack
Not much with the old leather
Left field is no match
Liam Hendriks
Triple A stand-out
Major League tee-ball pitcher
Still should get better
Josh Roenicke
Came from the thin air
Too many walks for my tastes
Seems like a nice guy
Glen Perkins
Once a bad starter
Became a nasty closer
Quite a Twitter guy
Darin Mastroianni
Speedy and flashy
Handles the bat and the glove
Better than I thought
Pedro Florimon
Wizard with his glove
Really not much at the plate
Don’t expect too much
Scott Diamond
Where did he come from?
An exception to rule 5
Please don’t be a fluke
Jared Burton
A waiver wire gem
Strikeout to walk rate is great
Should be the real deal
Eduardo Escobar
Big glove, Little bat
Could serve utility role
Should replace Lexi
Trevor Plouffe
Slow to develop
Powerful punch at third base
Please grow out your hair
Casey Fien
A Fien middle guy
Perfectly Fien in that role
I can’t resist puns
Chris Herrmann
Does not seem special
Little to offer on field
Still better than Drew
Kyle Gibson
A low floor prospect
His elbow has been repaired
Ready to produce
Joe Benson
Terrible season
But do not forget his name
Still has the talent
Cole De Vries
Pressed into action
Nibbles too much for my tastes
Was not horrible
Brian Duensing
Great in the bullpen
Not so great as a starter
No starts in ’13!
Aaron Hicks
He will take a walk
He throws hard and covers ground
Starter in Center?
Anthony Swarzak
Can start here and there
Can pitch well out of the ‘pen
Nice to have around
Brian Dozier
Had no bat or glove
Expectations were too high
Worth another look
Oswaldo Arcia
Some pop in the bat
Will he handle the outfield?
This will be the key
Bonus – Alexi Casilla
My heart slowly breaks
Once the apple of my eye
Goodbye my sweet Prince
Jamey Carroll
Old man on campus
Brings a veteran presence
Can still help the team
Alex Burnett
Not good to begin
Then the strikeouts disappeared
He needs to find them
Nick Blackburn
No no no no no
No no no no no no no
No no no no no

Super Bonus!  The New Guy!

Vance Worley
The new guy in town
Welcome to Minnesota
I like your glasses

Tweet your Haiku to me @bridman77