Denard Span’s Catch: What Was Ryan Doumit Thinking?


Have you ever wondered what goes through the mind of a Major League Baseball player as a spectacular play happens on the field? Lucky for you, Puckett’s Pond is here to provide the exact approximations of the inner monologue of certain players. Today we present what Ryan Doumit was thinking when Denard Span robbed Alex Rios of a 2 run homer in the 5th inning of the Minnesota Twins’ victory over the Chicago White Sox last night. (If you have not yet seen it, click here for video).

“Shoot, Rios just crushed that one. Looks like a home run…hate to lose that lead. I better jog back after it anyway…that seems to be what all the real outfielders do in this situation. OK, here we go…Hmm, Denard is sure running fast. I wonder why. I wonder what it feels like to run that fast…what a catch! Wow! Boy, I hope the Twins don’t expect me to make plays like that in the outfield. Good thing they are willing to pay up on guys who do not have a defined position on defense. Zing! But seriously, what a catch! Right here, right now in this outfield, the only thing I do better than Denard Span is grow a beard. And even that is a close call…”

Bonus: here is Alex Rios’s inner monologue in that same moment:

“Bang. Get some Twinkies. That’s crushed, better pimp this one a little bit. It is a go-ahead homer, after all. That’s seriously clutch right there. I guess I’m just showing the White Sox, once again, why they were smart to pick up my uh….what’s the word…steep contract and pay me handsomely. Alright, time to start your trot now Alex. Not too slow, but take a little time to soak this one in…wait, why are they cheering? Ah man! Fiddlesticks!”

The Twins try to follow up last night’s 7-6 victory when they resume action against Francisco Liriano and the White Sox tonight at 7:10 P.M.