Minnesota Twins Haiku
By Brad Swanson
These Twins are psyched about poetry. Mandatory Credit: Jesse Johnson-US PRESSWIRE
The Winter Meetings have ended. It’s time to take a deep breath as we wait for the off-season festivities to continue. The Twins still have work to do, but let’s leave that to those who get paid to build the team. For the fans, it’s time to relax. Poetry is relaxing. I decided it might be fun to try some Twins Haiku. I used players that I feel will contribute to the 2013 Twins in some way. I threw in some bonus Haiku that I just could not resist. If you hate this, let me know so I never do it again. If you love it, please print it out and put in on your wall. Thanks.
Ron Gardenhire
Beloved by many fans
Players seem to like him as well
No playoff success
| Joe Mauer Aw shucks I’m just Joe Most Popular of Twins Double to the Gap | Ben Revere – Philadelphia Phillies Fast as a cheetah Just as deadly with the bat Somersault Monster | Drew Butera The Twins like his glove No sane person likes his bat Can we move along? |
| Justin Morneau Once powerful force Popular with the people Not quite who he was | Chris Parmelee One great September What is he capable of? We all will know soon | Tyler Robertson Lefty with some stuff He had a decent debut Boy is he a hoss |
| Josh Willingham Strong like lumberjack Not much with the old leather Left field is no match | Liam Hendriks Triple A stand-out Major League tee-ball pitcher Still should get better | Josh Roenicke Came from the thin air Too many walks for my tastes Seems like a nice guy |
| Glen Perkins Once a bad starter Became a nasty closer Quite a Twitter guy | Darin Mastroianni Speedy and flashy Handles the bat and the glove Better than I thought | Pedro Florimon Wizard with his glove Really not much at the plate Don’t expect too much |
| Scott Diamond Where did he come from? An exception to rule 5 Please don’t be a fluke | Jared Burton A waiver wire gem Strikeout to walk rate is great Should be the real deal | Eduardo Escobar Big glove, Little bat Could serve utility role Should replace Lexi |
| Trevor Plouffe Slow to develop Powerful punch at third base Please grow out your hair | Casey Fien A Fien middle guy Perfectly Fien in that role I can’t resist puns | Chris Herrmann Does not seem special Little to offer on field Still better than Drew |
| Kyle Gibson A low floor prospect His elbow has been repaired Ready to produce | Joe Benson Terrible season But do not forget his name Still has the talent | Cole De Vries Pressed into action Nibbles too much for my tastes Was not horrible |
| Brian Duensing Great in the bullpen Not so great as a starter No starts in ’13! | Aaron Hicks He will take a walk He throws hard and covers ground Starter in Center? | Anthony Swarzak Can start here and there Can pitch well out of the ‘pen Nice to have around |
| Brian Dozier Had no bat or glove Expectations were too high Worth another look | Oswaldo Arcia Some pop in the bat Will he handle the outfield? This will be the key | Bonus – Alexi Casilla My heart slowly breaks Once the apple of my eye Goodbye my sweet Prince |
| Jamey Carroll Old man on campus Brings a veteran presence Can still help the team | Alex Burnett Not good to begin Then the strikeouts disappeared He needs to find them | Nick Blackburn No no no no no No no no no no no no No no no no no |
Super Bonus! The New Guy!
Vance Worley
The new guy in town
Welcome to Minnesota
I like your glasses
Tweet your Haiku to me @bridman77