“But you didn’t say anything about Jason Marquis!” Maniacal laughter ensues: “Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!”

Yes, Jason Marquis. Like Garland, Piniero, and Francis, Marquis is allergic to strikeouts and velocity. He tosses an 89.3 mph fastball, which is good news for Tiger fans. I can already picture Miguel Cabrera patiently waiting at the plate for a Marquis “fast”ball. It’s not a pretty thought. In my vision, Cabrera has plenty of time to think about his grocery list and his offseason vacation plans before he even bothers to think about crushing the pitch over the left field wall.

Okay, maybe that’s an exaggeration. At first I withheld judgement on this move until I found out what the dollar amount is. If Marquis had signed for a bargain-basement $1 to $1.5 million contract, fine. I wouldn’t blame the Twins for taking a chance on Marquis at that price, even if he is a high risk, low-reward type of player. If they want to waste a million bucks to have someone compete with Anthony Swarzak and Nick Blackburn for the #5 hole in the rotation, be my guest. I even thought there was a chance the Twins talked Marquis into a minor league deal. Marquis would certainly have been a good soldier in the battle to keep Rochester from losing 90 games again.

But that wasn’t the case. A team that swears it’s low on money spent $3 million for Marquis, a player who really doesn’t deserve more than the MLB minimum. (more…)