It’s time for everyone’s favorite game, ‘Would You Rather!’ I’m your host, Collin Kottke. Our winner tonight will receive a contract from the Minnesota Twins major league baseball club and will promptly be said team’s third-fourth man in their five man rotation. Let’s meet tonight’s contestants:
Contestant number one is a 6’ 4” right-handed pitcher and he hails from Brooksville, Florida. It’s 14-year MLB veteran, ‘Rock & Roll Leg Kick’ Bronson Arroyo.
Contestant number two is a 6’ 7” right-handed pitcher who hails from Wichita, Kansas. It’s 8-year MLB veteran, ‘Hand Me the’ Mike Pelfrey.
We start off our ‘Would You Rather!’ with our ‘Coincidence?!’ fact.
We all know that the Minnesota Twins are interested in both of these pitchers, but did you know that both pitchers have undergone Tommy John surgery. Arroyo in 2009 and Pelfrey in 2012. Coincidence?!
UPDATE: The host is a complete moron. Bronson Aroyo has never had Tommy John surgery. Different Red’s pitcher in 2009 did. Arroyo seems to have never spend a day on the DL.
Now the body of our show, ‘Just the facts, Jack!’. Here we give our audience the straight facts which they will use later in their vote. First, up…
- 37 years-old on Opening Day
- 2006 All-Star
- 2010 Gold Glove
- Pitched over 200 innings in eight seasons, lead the league with 240.2 innings in 2006
- Career Numbers: 3.79 ERA, 1.292 WHIP, 5.8 strikeouts per 9 innings, 9.2 hits per 9 innings
- 2013 Numbers: 14-12, 3.79 ERA, 1.553 WHIP, 202 Innings, 5.5 K/9, 8.9 H/9
- 30 years-old on Opening Day
- Pitched over 200 innings in two seasons
- Career Numbers: 4.48 ERA, 1.472 WHIP, 5.2 K/9, 10.1 H/9
- 2013 Numbers: 5-13, 5.19 ERA, 1.552 WHIP, 152.2 Innings, 6.0 K/9, 10.8 H/9
One last round of useless information to sway you one way or the other, it’s time for ‘THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH BASEBALL!’
Bronson Arroyo released an alternative rock album in 2005 entitled ‘Covering the Bases’.
The Wall Street Journal once counted that Mike Pelfrey licked his hand 89 times during one game.
So Twins fans… Would You Rather sign Bronson Arroyo or Mike Pelfrey?! Vote in our poll below: