Minnesota Twins Christmas Song 2012

One thing you might not know about me is that, in addition to my stance as an avid Twins fan, I’m also a fan of the band Wham!. I don’t brag about that, and I hope the sad fact won’t preclude you from reading future posts. As my Christmas “gift” to you, I rewrote the epically terrible, ridiculously awesome “Last Christmas” pop song for the Minnesota Twins. In all fairness to the Twins, I just want to state that my view of the 2013 Twins isn’t quite as negative as the lyrics below indicate. I do hope that, as you read this, your belly will shake “like a bowlful of cherries”.  A Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, Seasons Greetings, Happy Holidays, and belated Happy Hanukkah from Puckett’s Pond!!

You might appreciate singing along with this as you read the new lyrics (click here). And you’re welcome for the ’80s music video that goes with it.

“Last Season” to the tune of “Last Christmas” by Wham!

Chorus – 2x
Last season
I gave you my heart
But on Opening Day you gave it away
This year
To save me from tears
I’ll lower my expectations

One season and the boys cried
There’s a distraction
Now no trees in the batter’s eye
Tell me, Twinkies,
Did it help your hitting?
Well,
It’s been two years,
It isn’t convincing

Twins baseball
Pitch to contact doesn’t cut it
When each pitch flies overhead onto the Plaza
Ryan knows how the rotation’s been
But if you pitched okay once
He thinks you can pitch again.

Chorus 2x
Last season
I gave you my heart
But on Opening Day you gave it away
This year
To save me from tears
I’ll lower my expectations 

Oh, oh, Twinkies.

Empty ballpark
Fans with tired eyes
Two losing seasons
Makes them heave sighs
Oh Twins we thought you were a team we could rely on
Now Gardy wants a shoulder to cry on

The Twins players insist this year is a new start
The fans may be skeptics but we hope with our hearts, ooh-hoo
Now the Twins have a few pitchers and we’ll try it again

Chorus 2x
Last season
I gave you my heart
But on Opening Day you gave it away
This year
To save me from tears
I’ll lower my expectations

The Twins players insist this year is a new start
The fans may be skeptics but we hope with our hearts
Maybe this year, I’ll lower my expect,
I’ll lower my expectations

Expect…
Expectations…