Because We Are All Contractually Required to Cover Bert's Election to the Hall of Fame

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A known farter is officially in the Hall of Fame. image source: twinsdugout.net

Congratulations, Cooperstown! You have elected the only Frying Dutchman in the history of major league baseball. Oh, yeah, and Roberto Alomar probably set some sort of record for a returning candidate, with 90% of the vote. Other notables include Barry Larkin, who fell a bit short with 62.1%, but it’s a considerable gain over the 51.6% he got last year, so it’s likely he will be elected as soon as next year. First-timer Jeff Bagwell got 41.7% of the vote, which is a shame, because there is no evidence whatsoever that Bagwell was anything other than clean as a player. I understand the voters’ moral objections to steroid use and their reluctance to elect suspected ‘roiders, but it isn’t fair to keep a perfectly deserving candidate out of the Hall based on nothing more than vague rumors and innuendo. Rafael Palmeiro and Mark McGwire garnered just 11% and 19.8% of the vote respectively, but there is at least some solid evidence that both were using PEDs. If you would like to see the rest of the ballot, you can see it on the BBWAA website.

I guess all that’s left to do now is retire Bert’s number and build him a statue. Oh, and make January 5th Bert Blyleven Day across the state of Minnesota. I don’t think that’s too much to ask.

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